Friday, November 13, 2009
Answered prayer
I have not been on my blog site for months, until just now. After re-reading my last blog posting of July 16th, I sit here in awe, and in tears of joy, with the revelation that only 10 days after that post, the Lord answered the cry of my heart,"Lord, change me..."!!! I write this now, not to give details, but to give Glory to my Father for not once ever letting go of me through all the changes, through all the fears, and through all the tears! How Faithful You are, my Lord, and how I love and adore You!!! You are my Strength, my Rock! My Joy, my Peace, my Comfort! You are the Heartbeat of my life, and I am Yours!!! Forever.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Lord, change me!
What a beautiful place to be!!! In His Presence, as I cry out to Him, "Father, change me!" With my heart surrendered I come to Him and humble myself. With a repentance and desire; with a willingness and knowing, that I want and need to change, and that He wants and needs to change me! How precious; how merciful, sweet, and gentle He is, when I stand before Him in my sin and cry out to Him for help! How it blesses Him to see a heart that truly wants to change; a heart that finally sees that HE IS THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN "DO IT".
After being defeated, and despairing in trying to make changes within myself, I realize that the assurance that I have in myself is a great deception, and that the only assurance that I have for victory in this life is in, and through, Jesus Christ! I know this. We all profess to know this, right? As born again, spirit filled Christians, we proclaim it from the roof tops and witness this message to others at any given opportunity. And we should! But... are we living it? Where is Jesus in my life? What areas am I allowing Him to come into, and what areas am I keeping Him out of? How often do I ask," Lord, change me in this area," and then invite Him in to do the work that needs to be done? Or how often does the Holy Spirit bring conviction upon me, only for me to tell Him," Oh, no, I don't need any help in that area of my life. I have it all under control".
I have done that sooooo many times in my walk with the Lord, that sometimes I have even questioned my salvation! How could I possibly be saved and be living for Jesus if I am ignoring the very One who has given His life for mine; the One who I love so very much, and the One whom I have devoted my entire life too?? Doesn't make much sense, does it? Well, it does to Jesus. He knows that we have this flesh to deal with, and He knows that we also all have a free will, to make choices and decisions, on our own, and apart from Him!
Since my husband Paul and I got married almost 3 years ago, I can say in great truthfulness and humility that I cannot find one area in my life that DOESN'T need the help of Jesus... to make some great changes IN ME!! Marriage tends to bring out the worst in us at times, yet if we will allow God to make those needed changes in us, we will see the best of Him!!!
I have experienced the changing power of God in my marriage! He has shown me, and I have asked and allowed Him, to make those adjustments, those changes in my heart, that I could never have made on my own! Changes that I didn't even know were necessary! ( His ways are Perfect, and He knows exactly how, what, when, and where to touch your life...especially when you don't! ) And oh, to His Glory, I see that the adjustments; the changes that He makes in me, are all for the purpose of bringing me closer to Him; of knowing Him more intimately and surrendering to Him in His awesome Perfect Love that He has for me, and for my marriage! So I go now before His throne of Grace crying out, "Abba, Father, I know this will be painful, but CHANGE ME!! I want more of YOU, and less of me! I want to see You in all of Your Glory; in my life, in my marriage, in my children, and in my grandchildren! Do Your Perfect work in me, Father! Convict me, and bring me to my knees in full surrender to you!" This is my prayer for us all.
After being defeated, and despairing in trying to make changes within myself, I realize that the assurance that I have in myself is a great deception, and that the only assurance that I have for victory in this life is in, and through, Jesus Christ! I know this. We all profess to know this, right? As born again, spirit filled Christians, we proclaim it from the roof tops and witness this message to others at any given opportunity. And we should! But... are we living it? Where is Jesus in my life? What areas am I allowing Him to come into, and what areas am I keeping Him out of? How often do I ask," Lord, change me in this area," and then invite Him in to do the work that needs to be done? Or how often does the Holy Spirit bring conviction upon me, only for me to tell Him," Oh, no, I don't need any help in that area of my life. I have it all under control".
I have done that sooooo many times in my walk with the Lord, that sometimes I have even questioned my salvation! How could I possibly be saved and be living for Jesus if I am ignoring the very One who has given His life for mine; the One who I love so very much, and the One whom I have devoted my entire life too?? Doesn't make much sense, does it? Well, it does to Jesus. He knows that we have this flesh to deal with, and He knows that we also all have a free will, to make choices and decisions, on our own, and apart from Him!
Since my husband Paul and I got married almost 3 years ago, I can say in great truthfulness and humility that I cannot find one area in my life that DOESN'T need the help of Jesus... to make some great changes IN ME!! Marriage tends to bring out the worst in us at times, yet if we will allow God to make those needed changes in us, we will see the best of Him!!!
I have experienced the changing power of God in my marriage! He has shown me, and I have asked and allowed Him, to make those adjustments, those changes in my heart, that I could never have made on my own! Changes that I didn't even know were necessary! ( His ways are Perfect, and He knows exactly how, what, when, and where to touch your life...especially when you don't! ) And oh, to His Glory, I see that the adjustments; the changes that He makes in me, are all for the purpose of bringing me closer to Him; of knowing Him more intimately and surrendering to Him in His awesome Perfect Love that He has for me, and for my marriage! So I go now before His throne of Grace crying out, "Abba, Father, I know this will be painful, but CHANGE ME!! I want more of YOU, and less of me! I want to see You in all of Your Glory; in my life, in my marriage, in my children, and in my grandchildren! Do Your Perfect work in me, Father! Convict me, and bring me to my knees in full surrender to you!" This is my prayer for us all.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Kiss of Life
Not to many months ago I took a class to learn CPR. This stands for "cardiopulmonary resuscitation," which is defined as "...an emergency procedure consisting of external cardiac massage and artificial respiration for a person who has collapsed and has no pulse and has stopped breathing; attempts to restore circulation of the blood and prevent death or brain damage due to lack of oxygen."
God gave man this amazing medical knowledge! How incredible to know that we can have that knowledge, just by taking a class and being taught the procedure involved; to physically stimulate another human beings heart, to restore the blood flow throughout thier entire bodies, and to prevent bodily damage and death! That persons life is literally in your hands as you use your hands to massage thier heart, and as you place your mouth over that of anothers to resusitate, you are giving them your breath.
I am right now thinking JESUS. Isn't He the CPR that God gave us? Didn't He know that we were in need of a major emergency procedure that would bring us back to Him? Bring us back to Life? He knew we were spiritually collapsed; He knew that we no longer had a pulse for Him; that it was non-existant, and that we had stopped breathing. He knew that we needed the Blood to flow out, and then into, our lives. And He knew also that without it, we would be, and remain, dead!
With every breath God gives me, I stand in awe of just how much He loves me! How He loved me first, and how He loved me enough to give me Jesus; to give me CPR, so that I might live! He gave His life, and then brought me back to life! Now I have a heart for Him, and my every breath is because of Him. I don't have to walk around brain dead any longer, and I don't rely on external hands to massage my heart. Jesus holds me in His Hands now, and is continually, ever so gently, massaging my heart, and breathing His precious Life into mine.
The CPR definition above says that it is an "attempt to restore circulation of the blood and prevent death..." but Jesus's definition states;
"IT IS FINISHED!"
There are alot of "walking dead" among us. People who are experiencing cardiac arrest, and need the Hands of Jesus to touch them, and to perform His CPR on them. Yet, do they know and have they heard? Are we telling people about the Greatest Teacher Alive, and that they, too, can become a student of His, to learn of Him and sit with Him, for eternity? Do they know that they can take His class, and live and NOT die!?! I myself have determined to be bolder, and to start giving 'mouth to mouth resuscitation' to those walking dead every chance I get! I am going to give them the "Kiss of Life" ! I'm going to massage thier hearts with the Word of God, and watch HIM BREATHE on them!
God gave man this amazing medical knowledge! How incredible to know that we can have that knowledge, just by taking a class and being taught the procedure involved; to physically stimulate another human beings heart, to restore the blood flow throughout thier entire bodies, and to prevent bodily damage and death! That persons life is literally in your hands as you use your hands to massage thier heart, and as you place your mouth over that of anothers to resusitate, you are giving them your breath.
I am right now thinking JESUS. Isn't He the CPR that God gave us? Didn't He know that we were in need of a major emergency procedure that would bring us back to Him? Bring us back to Life? He knew we were spiritually collapsed; He knew that we no longer had a pulse for Him; that it was non-existant, and that we had stopped breathing. He knew that we needed the Blood to flow out, and then into, our lives. And He knew also that without it, we would be, and remain, dead!
With every breath God gives me, I stand in awe of just how much He loves me! How He loved me first, and how He loved me enough to give me Jesus; to give me CPR, so that I might live! He gave His life, and then brought me back to life! Now I have a heart for Him, and my every breath is because of Him. I don't have to walk around brain dead any longer, and I don't rely on external hands to massage my heart. Jesus holds me in His Hands now, and is continually, ever so gently, massaging my heart, and breathing His precious Life into mine.
The CPR definition above says that it is an "attempt to restore circulation of the blood and prevent death..." but Jesus's definition states;
"IT IS FINISHED!"
There are alot of "walking dead" among us. People who are experiencing cardiac arrest, and need the Hands of Jesus to touch them, and to perform His CPR on them. Yet, do they know and have they heard? Are we telling people about the Greatest Teacher Alive, and that they, too, can become a student of His, to learn of Him and sit with Him, for eternity? Do they know that they can take His class, and live and NOT die!?! I myself have determined to be bolder, and to start giving 'mouth to mouth resuscitation' to those walking dead every chance I get! I am going to give them the "Kiss of Life" ! I'm going to massage thier hearts with the Word of God, and watch HIM BREATHE on them!
Friday, June 26, 2009
Hanging with Jesus
Will I ever cease to be stunned and deeply angered and grieved at those christians who pounce on and stomp on and then chew up and spit out other people?!? Sometimes it seems as though I spend more time ministering to those who have been mistreated by other christians, than those who have had to endure the pains and hardships of the world and the so-called ungodly! What is WRONG with these christians!?! What bibles are they reading, and where is thier relationship with my JESUS?
Today was my last day at the preschool that I have worked at for 2 and 1/2 years. I turned in my resignation 2 weeks ago. Three days ago, I sat with a fellow employee, and sister in the Lord, and listened to her share with me how afraid she was that I was leaving, and how she now would be left to fight off for herself the attacks of the other employees. She shared with me how, on this particular day, they had many unkind words directed at her and how they were shunning her, as she tries to do her job with the children. Here is my sweet precious friend, crying and pouring her heart out, broken, torn, and afraid, and deeply wounded, again, by this pack of women; and the "leader" of this pack is a pastor's wife!
I am crying right now as I see again the look in my friends eyes...the bewilderment and confusion, the pain of being unjustly attacked by so called ' friends ' ; of being abused... of being rejected!
I wonder how and I wonder why... and then I think of my Jesus. HE knows how, and HE knows why. HE was there, and we were there with Him!
Thursday night as I lay in bed, talking to the Lord about my friend, I suddenly saw myself on that cross with Jesus! So real was it to me that I could feel the warmth of His Blood as it began to cover my body! I felt all of the pain, the grief, the anguish, the terror, the abuse, the rejection... all that I have suffered, and all that my friend was suffering, right there, flowing over me with Jesus's Blood, and I remember telling Him that "I can't bear this; this is too much!!" It was gruesome and horrible and unspeakable, and I don't have the words to describe the intensity of what I saw, or what I felt, but when I told Him I couldn't bear it any longer, HIS Love came over me so intensely and I felt Him drawing me closer to Him, and saw myself clinging closer to Him, on that cross, with His Blood still pouring out, but now it no longer felt hard to bear, but instead was so comforting, so healing, so REAL! !
I know that He showed me this, openly and vividly, because I needed to SEE HIM THERE! Just like I now see my friend, just like I see myself, just like I see you, and them, and everyone! HE was there, and we were with Him! HE is here, and STILL with us! If we don't continually see Him on that cross , we won't be able to bear anything of true value, that will be advancing the Kingdom of our Father! Of our Jesus! We need to, we MUST, bear one another up in our individual battles and struggles! Jesus had compassion on that cross! He had mercy and forgiveness and love and encouragment!! He bore us up!! Each and every one of us, individually!
**This blog entry has been edited from the original post of yesterdays(26th) entry. I hesitate to share, with many, the intimate times that I have alone with Jesus, but this I am sharing with you, because I believe most of you know my heart, and this is the purpose of my blog.
I would like to encourage all of you, at some point today, to find a quiet place and get alone with God. Close your eyes and see Jesus hanging on the cross! Meditate on that. And then next, put yourself right there with Him! If you can do that, I believe Jesus will show you things, and take you to a place, a relationship with Him, that you have never been or had before! I know that He did this for me thursday night!
Please lift my friend Debbie up in prayer, and all those that you know of today who need encouragment and strength, and the love of Jesus to overflow into thier lives! Let's bear one another up! Let's keep on hanging with, and hanging onto, our Jesus!!!
Today was my last day at the preschool that I have worked at for 2 and 1/2 years. I turned in my resignation 2 weeks ago. Three days ago, I sat with a fellow employee, and sister in the Lord, and listened to her share with me how afraid she was that I was leaving, and how she now would be left to fight off for herself the attacks of the other employees. She shared with me how, on this particular day, they had many unkind words directed at her and how they were shunning her, as she tries to do her job with the children. Here is my sweet precious friend, crying and pouring her heart out, broken, torn, and afraid, and deeply wounded, again, by this pack of women; and the "leader" of this pack is a pastor's wife!
I am crying right now as I see again the look in my friends eyes...the bewilderment and confusion, the pain of being unjustly attacked by so called ' friends ' ; of being abused... of being rejected!
I wonder how and I wonder why... and then I think of my Jesus. HE knows how, and HE knows why. HE was there, and we were there with Him!
Thursday night as I lay in bed, talking to the Lord about my friend, I suddenly saw myself on that cross with Jesus! So real was it to me that I could feel the warmth of His Blood as it began to cover my body! I felt all of the pain, the grief, the anguish, the terror, the abuse, the rejection... all that I have suffered, and all that my friend was suffering, right there, flowing over me with Jesus's Blood, and I remember telling Him that "I can't bear this; this is too much!!" It was gruesome and horrible and unspeakable, and I don't have the words to describe the intensity of what I saw, or what I felt, but when I told Him I couldn't bear it any longer, HIS Love came over me so intensely and I felt Him drawing me closer to Him, and saw myself clinging closer to Him, on that cross, with His Blood still pouring out, but now it no longer felt hard to bear, but instead was so comforting, so healing, so REAL! !
I know that He showed me this, openly and vividly, because I needed to SEE HIM THERE! Just like I now see my friend, just like I see myself, just like I see you, and them, and everyone! HE was there, and we were with Him! HE is here, and STILL with us! If we don't continually see Him on that cross , we won't be able to bear anything of true value, that will be advancing the Kingdom of our Father! Of our Jesus! We need to, we MUST, bear one another up in our individual battles and struggles! Jesus had compassion on that cross! He had mercy and forgiveness and love and encouragment!! He bore us up!! Each and every one of us, individually!
**This blog entry has been edited from the original post of yesterdays(26th) entry. I hesitate to share, with many, the intimate times that I have alone with Jesus, but this I am sharing with you, because I believe most of you know my heart, and this is the purpose of my blog.
I would like to encourage all of you, at some point today, to find a quiet place and get alone with God. Close your eyes and see Jesus hanging on the cross! Meditate on that. And then next, put yourself right there with Him! If you can do that, I believe Jesus will show you things, and take you to a place, a relationship with Him, that you have never been or had before! I know that He did this for me thursday night!
Please lift my friend Debbie up in prayer, and all those that you know of today who need encouragment and strength, and the love of Jesus to overflow into thier lives! Let's bear one another up! Let's keep on hanging with, and hanging onto, our Jesus!!!
Monday, June 22, 2009
Cowgirl boots...
I am sooooo thankful for the Word of God, and that we can look to Him to show us how to walk in love towards other people! For the past several days I have wanted to wear my cowgirl boots to work and kick a certain someone right in the rear end, because frankly, some people seem deserving of that! Now just how "spiritual" and "godly" does that sound, you may ask? Well, I tell you truthfully that it was SUPER NATURAL in that I did NOT!! (We always seem to look for these huge, super natural acts of God to take place, but fail to recognize the seemingly small ones, which occur each and every day, in each and every one of our lives!) I don't know about you'all, but I have the "Supernatural" going on in my life 24/7, and I am thankful for Him! :)
Saturday, June 20, 2009
The Prayer of an Old Man
In thee, O Lord, do I put my trust: let me never be put to confusion. Deliver me in thy righteousness, and cause me to escape: incline thine ear unto me, and save me. Be thou my strong habitation, whereunto I may continually resort: thou hast given commandment to save me; for thou art my rock and my fortress. Deliver me, O my God, out of the hand of the wicked, out of the hand of the unrighteous and cruel man. For thou art my hope, O Lord GOD: thou art my trust from my youth. By thee have I been holden up from the womb: thou art he that took me out of my mother's bowels: my praise shall be continually of thee. I am as a wonder unto many; but thou art my strong refuge. Let my mouth be filled with thy praise and with thy honor all the day. Cast me not off in the time of old age; forsake me not when my strength faileth. For mine enemies speak against me; and they that lay wait for my soul take counsel together, Saying, God hath forsaken him: persecute and take him; for there is none to deliver him. O God, be not far from me: O my God, make haste for my help. Let them be confounded and consumed that are advesaries to my soul; let them be covered with reproach and dishonour that seek my hurt.
But I will hope continually, and will yet praise thee more and more. My mouth shall shew forth thy righteousness and thy salvation all the day; for I know not the numbers thereof. I will go in the strength of the Lord GOD: I will make mention of thy righteousness, even of thine only. O God, thou hast taught me from my youth: hitherto have I declared thy wonderous works. Now also when I am old and grayheaded, O God, forsake me not; until I have shewed thy strength unto this generation, and thy power to everyone that is to came. Thy righteousness, O God, is very high, who hast done great things: who is like unto thee! Thou, which has shewed me great and sore troubles, shalt quicken me again, and shalt bring me up again from the depths of the earth. Thou shalt increase my greatness, and comfort me on every side. I will also praise thee with the psaltery, even thy truth, O my God: unto thee will I sing with the harp, O thou Holy One of Israel. My lips shall greatly rejoice when I sing unto thee; and my soul, which thou hast redeemed. My tongue also shall talk of thy righteousness all the day long: for they are confounded, for they are brought unto shame, that seek my hurt.
*Psalm 71
But I will hope continually, and will yet praise thee more and more. My mouth shall shew forth thy righteousness and thy salvation all the day; for I know not the numbers thereof. I will go in the strength of the Lord GOD: I will make mention of thy righteousness, even of thine only. O God, thou hast taught me from my youth: hitherto have I declared thy wonderous works. Now also when I am old and grayheaded, O God, forsake me not; until I have shewed thy strength unto this generation, and thy power to everyone that is to came. Thy righteousness, O God, is very high, who hast done great things: who is like unto thee! Thou, which has shewed me great and sore troubles, shalt quicken me again, and shalt bring me up again from the depths of the earth. Thou shalt increase my greatness, and comfort me on every side. I will also praise thee with the psaltery, even thy truth, O my God: unto thee will I sing with the harp, O thou Holy One of Israel. My lips shall greatly rejoice when I sing unto thee; and my soul, which thou hast redeemed. My tongue also shall talk of thy righteousness all the day long: for they are confounded, for they are brought unto shame, that seek my hurt.
*Psalm 71
Friday, June 19, 2009
For His glory
I have been under extreme pressure these past few days and feel as though I am being squeezed at every turn. 'Fiery darts' have been bombarding me from all directions, and by the end of each day I am actually physically exhausted from this battle. Yet I am persevering, and I maintain His Peace. When our minds come under attack and our emotions are taking us on a roller coaster ride, we have to remain steadfast and confident in Him. He IS our strength! Romans 5:3-5 says that, "We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develope endurance. And endurance developes strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because He has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with love".
I am growing stronger, and trusting God more deeply, with greater confidence than ever before!
And in doing so, I give Him all the glory for the victory that I have in Him!
We serve an awesome and glorious God, and I love Him so very much!!
I am growing stronger, and trusting God more deeply, with greater confidence than ever before!
And in doing so, I give Him all the glory for the victory that I have in Him!
We serve an awesome and glorious God, and I love Him so very much!!
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